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Kiki. I appreciate your interest in wanting to be a pen pal. I would like very much to correspond with someone inside or outside the USA. If you are serious please write me at
Andre M Lewis #0558819
MCI
Po box 506
Maury NC 28554

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EMMA,
Personally, I know I wouldn’t have an irrational fear of the outside world upon being released. Why? Because through the years of my incarceration, my state of mind has elevated past the irrational thinking to a state of awareness. I have no fear of the things of the world outside these prison walls because I have kept up with the world and I know what to expect. I may not be able to change the things that go on around me, but I can change the way I handle the situations& the circumstance I encounter. The only thing I have to fear is fear its self. Meaning what I do and what kind of mind state would I have if I was faced with an adverse circumstance of survival? Would the irrational self take over providing the fear to keep me from making an rational choice that would put me back in prison; or would the irrational self suppress that fear causing me to do something unproductive.
I have never felt safe being locked in a cell. Id rather be able to lock and unlock my cell door at will. I have known and seen many people who have died while locked in their cell. They couldn’t get the door open to get help, they pushed the call button& the officers wouldn’t respond to the call, they kicked the door& the officers wouldn’t respond. I feel safer knowing I can get out of my cell if I need medical help, then to be locked in my cell and can’t get out
Mecca

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Brad,
Id like to commend you on what you are doing& what you plan on doing. Just by having the intentions of wanting to help prisoners re-enter society $ prosper is a big step in what you want to do. You may not be able t save & help everyone, but the ones you help can be an example to those behind them. It is so much that can & needs to be done to help prisoners stay out of prison, & only a few people willing to help & a limited supply of resources. So the main thing you can do is provide education programs. A vast Majorty of those Incarcerated have no education. Basic skills in math, writing, reading, etc. Education in Moral ethical principles, resources on how to find decent housing, job training & how to obtain these things. How to handle stress and make the right decisions when faced with challenges; how to build proper character. And don’t just focus on the older adults; focus on the first time offenders and Youth. They are the future and need plenty of guidance. Do some research on what jobs a just released prisoner with the proper training& education is more likely to be able to get , and set them up with these Jobs. For those interested in working for themselves, starting a small business, educate them in starting a small business. Telling you story throughout jails and prison would help. It may not help everyone who hears your story, but as long as your story touches one person you’ve maqde progress. Showing how you have and can overcome such adverse circumstances& prosper, you are planting a seed within the minds of those who feel they have no hope.. Those seeds that you plant will find cultivated soil in the minds of those who want to change and will bare fruit. The best advice I can give is to go back and draw up a map of how you took the steps of change& got to where you are now. You have to give these guys a starting point & step by step program. Everyone isn’t going to follow you exact method& it will be interpreted in many ways; but that starting point & many interpretations will lead to many lives being saved from reincarceration. Also ask questions and take notes of the incarcerated & compare them to your own. That should help you pin point the areas you need to target. Also be equal among everyone The women need guidance also. Give them the same help as the men.
I want to add I respect and admire how you vowed to be a friend to the woman you are corresponding with. It takes a lot to be able to make a true commitment Like that. Many of the incarcerated have no moral support & that makes a big difference in the lives of prisoners, Just to have someone to talk to and show a little compassion means a lot.

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To Gary
Because every prison is run differently, state and federal, I can only tell you how much money is needed to. get by for N. Carolina prisons. The prisoners in N C Are allotted 40$ a week. Depending on the individual and how they manage their money, and if they spend all or only a portion of it all at once 40$ should be enough for an inmate to get by. Most people can live off 20$ a week comfortably.
There is such a variety of things that we can buy out of the canteen( commissary. There are hygiene products such as deodorant, soap toothpaste etc. You can also buy radios shoes food such as cakes cookies ships, candy gum soda, juice soup crackers sandwiches, ice cream, tuna fish and a variety of other foods. You can also buy notebook paper ,pens, pens, envelops and stamps. Every prison has something different, some more some less. From experience I can say life s hard when you have no financial help from the outside! It forces you to do things you wouldn’t normally do if you had some financial support. For example Some people who hustled drugs in the streets and robbed drug dealers to support them selves and their families do the same thing in here. They rob other inmates gotten drugs from the guards sell drugs , Gamble ,extort other inmates, sell stolen food items out of the kitchen, and a few other things. One thing I have never done and will never do is anything sexual for money, or anything involving some form of sex for money. I honestly don’t want to do all the things I do to support myself cause I always end up getting in trouble in the end and that sets me back from getting out of prison early. BUT it is the only way myself and others who are in the same position can support ourselves. I know what I do can’t be justified as good but I don’t do it just to have a lot of this and that. Its not about getting what I want its about getting what I need. So life is pretty hard when you have no outside support. An individual can get what every they need in here but the hard part is dealing with the negative consequences that come with those negative actions.

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Yes I would love a pen pal. Most people write one or two letters then don't write any more. I have a child and Iam not married.

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Thank you, I hope it helped If you want you can write me directly.

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we go to the act of committing a crime with bad intentions. But you some like myself who committed crimes to provide for their family, which my family consisted of my kids and their mother. So my just to commit these crimes were bad, but the outcome was good for a time. It depends on the person and the mind state of the individual on how bad their intentions are with myself. I feel my mind, date and intentions were more nefarious than some because of the risk I took and what I stood to lose. I was a true to the heart stick a kid. Even though I sold drugs, I did more robberies than selling drugs and rob stores establishments etc.. I robbed only drug dealers and small time in big time by my state had to be nefarious lacking a conscious. I know how much time and effort is drug dealers put into acquiring the well. So they were ready to kill or be killed to protect it. So I had to mind state and intentions to hurt them or kill them if I had to protect myself and to come back safely to my family and provide for them. I didn't go into committing these robberies looking to kill someone. But I'd do it without a second thought. I did have intentions of hurting the individual by whatever means necessary to get them to tell me where the drugs and money was hit. I carried a gun at all times, even when I wasn't committing crimes. The life I lived you have to carry a gun at all times. You're always a target. Everyone knows what you do, and they look for ways to take you out again to save themselves. You have no friends, everyone is your enemy and my philosophy is. It's better to have enemies all around you to put your trust in friends. When you in the streets. Why does you know how your enemies are coming at you. You never know with friends.

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we go to the act of committing a crime with bad intentions. But you some like myself who committed crimes to provide for their family, which my family consisted of my kids and their mother. So my just to commit these crimes were bad, but the outcome was good for a time. It depends on the person and the mind state of the individual on how bad their intentions are with myself. I feel my mind, date and intentions were more nefarious than some because of the risk I took and what I stood to lose. I was a true to the heart stick a kid. Even though I sold drugs, I did more robberies than selling drugs and rob stores establishments etc.. I robbed only drug dealers and small time in big time by my state had to be nefarious lacking a conscious. I know how much time and effort is drug dealers put into acquiring the well. So they were ready to kill or be killed to protect it. So I had to mind state and intentions to hurt them or kill them if I had to protect myself and to come back safely to my family and provide for them. I didn't go into committing these robberies looking to kill someone. But I'd do it without a second thought. I did have intentions of hurting the individual by whatever means necessary to get them to tell me where the drugs and money was hit. I carried a gun at all times, even when I wasn't committing crimes. The life I lived you have to carry a gun at all times. You're always a target. Everyone knows what you do, and they look for ways to take you out again to save themselves. You have no friends, everyone is your enemy and my philosophy is. It's better to have enemies all around you to put your trust in friends. When you in the streets. Why does you know how your enemies are coming at you. You never know with friends.

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I was in a relationship prior to my incarceration by children's mother decided to separate from her husband and commit to me. So we could raise her children and families. Now I realize that was a mistake. I should've kept things the way they were between us and encouraged her to stay with her husband on the whole time I remained free our relationship was Good. We had a good family setting and my children were happy because their mother and father was together. We both held jobs . I worked and sold drugs and rob drug dealers on the side. (note) This was not the first time we had got back together to try the family thing. That ended with me getting incarcerated in her marriage, her husband, nine months after my incarceration. So this time I had that little voice in the back of my head telling me things would end up the same way as the last time. So lo and behold, I get incarcerated. She stuck me with me for a few months, telling me she would never leave my side, because I put my life on the line for her and my kids yada yada yada. After those few months, she divorced her first husband stopped communicating with me and got married again and had twins. This was in 2004, 5 years passed before I heard from her again. I spoke with her a few times back in 2008. No more after that she is like a distant thought my mind that I can barely remember. I want to communicate with my children I go to my mother. Everyone has a different ways to feel that silent void when in isolation. I like to read and write and work out. I immersed myself so deep in the things that I read study and write my time is not filled with silence of a sea of knowledge and wisdom that surpasses the sons. Whenever I want to be alone and complete solitude I locked myself in my cell and put my blind to and get lost in my studies. And if I really want to get away from everyone all do something that warrants six months in solitary confinement at favorite superhero is a halt. Dr. Xavier at favorite super villain, beyondda & venom& Dr . octopus

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Response to Tina (Married):
For as long as I have been doing time within the prison system, I have been in the presence of numerous prisoners that have cried because reality set in on them. Some have cried and confined in me that they couldn’t handle doing time, they were scared of being in prison, that their families disowned them; numerous of things. I’ve had some to admit that they’ve cried themselves to sleep. I’ve also known guys to come back from visit and cry because of family problems they can’t help out with, death in the family. It’s nothing to hear about or hear someone say they’ve cried for whatever reason in prison. This is a very emotional place to be in. Guys my put up an image in front of the guys out in population, but once they get in the cell alone, or any spot where they have time to themselves, the real person comes out when reality sets in. You can hide the pain from others in public, but you can’t hide it from yourself… Prisons have heating and cooling systems just like any building or house. Usually, prisons turn the cool air on in the summer, and the heat in the winter. As far as it being cold at night, it depends on how the AC system is set up. I’ve been to prisons where it’s cold on one side of the dorm on the cells and hot on the other side. Or cold upstairs and hot downstairs. In solitary confinement, some prisons keep the cells kind of cool for control purposes (which everyone doesn’t know). Guys get kind of wild on solitary confinement, but if it’s cool, you ain’t gonna be doing too much moving. As far as bed coverings go; most prisons issue prisoners 2 sheets, 1 blanket, a mattress cover, and a pillow case. But in the winter time, you are issued an extra blanket. The only way a prisoner ends up with one sheet; if they are in solitary confinement and have tried to commit suicide or start a fire, the officer will strip your cell for whatever the allotted time. Guys on suicide watch get 1 item back at a time… Depending on what custody level prison you are at, depends on if you can sleep all day or not. Some prisons let you stay in the bed as long as you want, some have you to make your bed but you can lay back down on top of the covers until later in the day when you can get back under the covers. On lower level prison camps where they have bunks in the dorm; you may have to get up and your bed made at 8 in the morning, go outside so the janitors can clean the dorm for about 2 hours, then you can get back in the bed. Some camp required that you work or go to school. Depending on what prison you’re at depends on what time the lights go out for bed time. In N.C., most prisons lock down at 11:30 p.m. Sunday thru Thursday and 1:30 a.m. or 2:00 a.m. Friday, Saturday, and holidays. Most prisons turn the lights on (wake up time) at 5:30 a.m. or 6:00 a.m. Some prisons announce wake up call over the speaker system, some yell it out if in a dorm with bunks, or some may knock on your door if you’re in a cell… Everything depends on how a prison is run, where it’s at, and the custody level…. Dre`.

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Bobby; I’m glad that you’ve taken interest In wanting to conversant,
and I’m pretty sure you will enjoy and grasp the things I build on.
Everyone has different views and opinions about things and it’s good
to converse with who can touch on many different topics. When It comes
to philosophy, I am intrigued by the philosophy system by which one
lives. Mostly philosophy to is obtaining a higher degree of self by
following the paths laid by those great intervals who has obtained
that higher degree. That higher degree is called “Knowledge of self”.
Having knowledge of self is know the trust and self and that truth is
is the ledge, but you must be willing to climb out on that ledge to
gain the truth about self. I use the philosophy that other great
philosophers use to rise to greatness to investigate the nature of
self, the causes of life and the principles of the reality that I live
in. And being that I have knowledge of self, I like to share the light
of truth on other so they can obtain knowledge of self. My own
philosophical background came about through wanting to know the
science behind the beginning of time starting with the original
Asiatic man to present day. Add being that I am an Asiatic man, my
life falls in line with everything that I seek to know. My insight to
you is; if you want to know the reality of life, you must first know
self… on an ending note; if you would like to engage in conversation
on whatever topic you find interesting, I encourage you to write to me
personally. I am pretty sure we can learn a lot from one another. My
addresses is Andre M. Lewise #0558819 S.C.I P.O. Bx 1808, Lautinburg
N.C 28353 “Mecca”

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Response to Taylor (Hard working mother):
It’s sad that there are so many people who are incarcerated that have had family to have left them, shunned them away, or disowned them. Some guys brought it on themselves by doing something disrespectful to their family that caused the family to disown them; and some families just can’t deal with their loved one being incarcerated and just shun away. Whatever the case may be, it does have an effect on the prisoner upon their release.. But these individuals who have no family or friends to turn to upon their release, do have a choice and resources they can take advantage of. Six months or 90 days before their release, they can have their prison counselor help them set up a rehabilitation plan with a halfway house. Upon their release, the halfway house will provide them with a place to stay, clothes, food, job training/placement, and whatever they need to readjust back into society. There is a small percentage of prisoners who take advantage of these resources. And I know for a fact that a high percentage of prisoners who’s family have disowned them, do resort back to a life of crime. They feel like they’ve lost everything when they lost their family. So they turn to what they feel is the next best thing which is the streets. Some of them feel like that’s the only way they can survive in society cause they have no communication or job skills and they are afraid to ask for help. Making that transition back into society requires effort from the released prisoner and family support. If the individual doesn’t have that family support, they need to have a strong mental and have that inner drive to want to make it and prosper in society. So it’s no such thing as they don’t have no choice; they have a choice. It just depends on what choice they choose… Dre`.

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OMG.
Yes, as I suspected, you are upset and bitter about the fact that your baby Daddy hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Instead he has been in and out of prison. You're letting the actions of one person (your Ex ), I'm assuming determine your feelings about everyone else who is incarcerated. I’ll be the first to admit people do seem to find God in prison. I look at that as a copout for the very reason that you yourself have experienced. In prison Christians or people into their religion are usually let alone and not bothered for the most part. So a lot of people say they turned Christian to avoid things. I've tried to understand those people as well. Some of them have something to hide (under cover child molesters,) but that's where you have a misconception of inmates. You should be mad at the politicians, court, and judges who protect these people. You wouldn't have to worry about child molesters getting out, as they wouldn't make it a place in general population with everyone else. So your anger is directed at the wrong direction. We also see them as despicable beings. If you are treated like dirt by someone you trusted, you shouldn't deny someone else a second chance. So to actually change for the better. It looks like you already made up your mind, though. Anyone can respect your decision. We are not asking that you feel sorry for us. I myself don't need any pity. I want to know someone who is for real and not doing things because of some obligation. I too have a daughter who's had to suffer my absence for the last 17 years. I can’t give her that time back. Do I feel guilty? Yes! There is nothing I can do, so, I don't get bitter about it and make the best out of life regardless of the situation I may be in. Your’e looking for revenge. You can even tolerate abusive guards, even though they violate the law that says a lot about your sense of being.You speak out of anger. That's okay, but at least directed at those who caused your ire and not by putting everyone else in the same basket. I do wish you good luck and sin sincerly I hope you're able to find something to give you peace of mind.

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Response to “Curious”: Posted 2009-02-01
I have an excellent relationship with my children. Even though I’m incarcerated, there’s no love lost. They understand my situation of being incarcerated; which, I did the things I did to provide for them. Every chance I get I speak to them on the phone, I write them letters all the time. I don’t see them very often on visits; maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Me and my children’s mother don’t have a good relationship so I have to rely on my mother to bring my children to visit when she gets around to it. My children are well taken care of; “Spoiled!” Their mother, grandmothers, grandfathers, etc. takes very good care of them so I don’t ever have to worry about them wanting for anything.. I talk to my children about the right and wrongs of life every time I write, call, or get a visit from them. They know the lifestyle I use to live isn’t right and will either put you in the grave or in prison. When I was home, I let my kids know what I was doing in the streets. I showed them the negative and positive side of life. So I was an example to them of what could/can happen when you live negative. My children have a vast understanding of life and assure me that they will never take the same path I took.. Dre`.

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Response to “Jennifer”: Posted 2009-01-30
It’s an ongoing thing to hear about inmates and officers having sex in prison. It goes on throughout the prisons nation wide. In the case of a male officer getting a female inmate pregnant. If the administration find out who the officer is, he’ll lose his job, the female inmate will go to the hole for however long; then once the baby is born, one of the family members from the officer’s side or the female’s will take the baby. If no one will take the baby, it will be placed in foster care. In the male prisons, if a male inmate gets a female officer pregnant, they can

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Answer to marry wife who asked of prisons safer than real life. My answer would have to be yes. There is also less responsibility, though it is easier. Yes, stress can be a strong factor in why we would revert back to his old ways. When things get difficult for whatever reason, because he is a different operating than others in mainstream society. You may handle a different, in an unconventional way. Probably the only other way he may know in which to act out after so many years doing good. He could have just got bored living in family life. He needed a change, not necessarily prison. Even though that's where he ended up. You can help him by being supportive, don't nag or put too much pressure on them as if he feels trapped. You feel the need to escape at the same time letting them know that you need him to be there for you for support. When things go bad. I don't want to sounds chauvinistic, but the man is supposed to be the stronger one in times of difficulty running things. When things get tough is not the answer is, life is hard and one has to be up to meeting those challenges every day. Just like you are there for him while he's going through his tough times. He also needs to be there for you, he needs to start now, while he's in there something you need to bring up the him now. So, everything is on the table. You need to give him space though when he needs it stretches legs if you will. So he doesn't get uncomfortable you yourself realize he is an great man. Being here, I'm really stressed by exercising. It relaxes me and calms me down. Having much time on one's hands leads to mischief. I don't mind is not good, but it's mental you do have a positive attitude. What may seem like the end of the world is in reality minor. Everyone goes through about the stress is how you deal with it. That will ultimately determine his sense of inner peace. You need to get help, while in their take advantage of the mental services they provide as meager as they may seem. I personally don't think medication is the answer, but if it works for him. And maybe that's the answer. I do wish you much success in your marriage and life don't be discouraged. One does have to fight for those one loves no one said it was done and be easy. You knew about his past before you hooked up with them. So you knew what you were getting yourself into, you are lucky that you didn't need to wait that long. Next time they made not work out that well.

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Response to the 26-year-old female in South Carolina. Remember you only have one mother and one father, whatever direction life took them, and you are still their child and they are still your parents, and once they are gone, you don't get any more. It's only right that you connect with your father and show him love. I'm not just saying this because I am incarcerated. I'm saying this because I know how it is to go through life without a father. My father wasn’t incarcerated, but it might as well have been because he was never around. I don't know him. I used to resent and hate the man I never knew. But as I got older, I forgave his absence. You may not be able to forget that your father has been absent all these years. But you can forgive him. Life as dictated by society does not give those of us who are incarcerated a second chance. But you can give your father a second chance to be part of your life. It doesn't matter what happened that led your father to be absent in life all these years. That was the past, what matters is building a loving and supporting bond with your father in the present or the future. Yes it does get lonely and here, very lonely. We are in the bottom of the pit trying to climb out. And when you don't have that family support and love ,you have nothing except whatever higher power you put your faith in . To many, a higher power, is his family. It is important to know that regardless of what you've been through with your father not being around ,there always will be a connection between the two of you, with love and a desired to have a parent-child relationship. I am a father, and if you understood and could experience the pain of not having your children and your life, you would know what us parents who are incarcerated go through. I don't hear from my children all the time. When I do hear from them, It's a feeling I can explain. When I get a chance to talk or see them, I can see the pain in their faces , fear that’s in her voice, because I'm not there with them and that helps to strengthen me to be a better father and man, when I get out.
It means the world to receive a card or letter from a loved one. Letting us know that someone out there cares. Even though your father's incarcerated, you still have a chance to connect and get to know your father many of us can't say that is we don't know our fathers. The streets, were our fathers! Don't allow the chance to connect with your father pass by. Because when he's gone, you'll be wishing you had writen your father and given him the love and support that he needed. If possible go visit him, show that you care about his well-being. I can tell that you care about connecting with your father. He didn't, you would have never written him and you would've never asked for advice about the situation. All your heart and give your father the love he needs. Note to Jon, this woman says that she is here to be a friend to talk to. Note to JON( I'm not sure if she would like a penpal, but if you have her e-mail contact her, give her my info , so that she can write me at the prison)

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I would love to get letters and write you

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Response to Samantha (Student):
I have been coming to prison and been in and out of prison for a long time, and I have never known or heard of male prisoners having to take pills to control their sex drive. And I keep up with all the happenings of prisons in the U.S. Whoever you are getting this crazy info from don’t know what they’re talking about. If the prisons are giving out anything to control male sex drive in prison, I don’t know about it and it ain’t working! I’m gonna give you a complete run down of what guys do to deal with their sexual urge… You have some guys who’s swag and talk game is up to par, or maybe their money is right, and can get a female officer to give them oral or penetrative sex. That happens all the time. Then you have guys that are labeled “jackers” or “gun-slinger”. Gun-slingging or jacking is when a prisoner masturbates while looking at a female officer. The female officer may or may not know the guy is masturbating off of her. Some guys wait tilla female officer stands or sits somewhere where they can see her face or ass, and masturbate. Then you have some female officers who like to see guys masturbate and post up somewhere or come to the guys cell so they can watch him masturbate… Then you have the homosexual and bi-sexual men. There are plenty of homosexuals in prison and plenty of guys who have sex with them. You have guys who everyone knows has sex with homosexuals, and you have guys on the DL who sneak around and have sex with homosexuals… As far as privacy goes, you have prisons that have two men to a cell, some with one man to a cell, and some that have open dorms with bunk beds. So if you are a “gun-slinger” or like homosexuals, guys will find a way to get some privacy… Also, you have guys like myself, who release out urge by pictures, sex novels, or magazines. In N.C. we can’t have totally nude pictures or magazines with nude pictures. But if you know the right people you can get them… Then there are the guys who have mastered their sexual urge and don’t need a release. I don’t think it’s too many of them… Within the prison system, every man has his own way of controlling his sexual urge; it just depends on what you like to do… Dre`.

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Being that I don¡¦t know the state you are located in, I can¡¦t really say what items your friend can receive in the mail. Every prison has different mail policies. But I do know that most prisons have some of the same mail policies for sending certain items. The info I¡¦m about to give you, I know for a fact that every prison will allow. You can send your friend birthday cards, friendship cards, etc., pictures (no poloriods) if you decide to send your friend some ¡§revealing¡¨ pictures, they can¡¦t be nude, if you are a female, panties, bra, thongs, etc. Male, boxers and briefs. Your friend would probably like to see you in a thong set for his Birthday!! ƒº You can order books or magazines for him. You can¡¦t buy them and send them directly; you have the publisher send it to him from the company. I don¡¦t know if your friend has a certain religion or culture he studies, but you can send certain religion items. Well, you have to order them and have the company send it to him. For example, I study Rastafarian and Moorish Science, so my people can order me a crown which has to have the colors Red, Black, Gold, or Green in it for my dreads. It can have all 4 colors in it or just 3 of the colors.. And the universal gift that¡¦s good for anytime of the year; Money! If you decide to send your friend some money, it has to be in a money order made out to your friend. If it¡¦s anything extra he can have, you may have to contact him and ask him¡K. Let me add, that it¡¦s a good thing that you¡¦re thinking about your friend like that, I¡¦m pretty sure he¡¦s thankful and grateful to have a friend like you in his life. He needs that type of moral support. If he respects and looks at you in such a good way, he¡¦d be thankful to just receive a card and letter on his birthday letting him know he¡¦s being thought about. Oh, and don¡¦t forget to put some good smelling perfume on that card and letter¡K Dre`.

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Response to 26 yr. old young woman Heather from AK:
Heather; first off, I would like to thank you for the comment on my looks. That’s one of my main priorities to keep myself up. I came in here health and as you say georgous, and I plan on leaving out the same way. I see that you have an interest in wanting to get to know me on a personal level. I have no problem with that. You say that you are use to meeting men that are attracted by the appearance; well maybe its time that you try something new.. A child is attracted to appearance, a man is attracted to whats on the inside! When I deal with a person, I’m attracted to the mental stimulation more than anything, You can find my Name and Address on the site. I hope to hear from you. Dre’

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I know I'm up for the challenge work 40,50, or 60 hours a week. My eye and I work 60 hours a week as I've never had a problem finding a job and working. I kept a job. I just chose to sell drugs and rob drug dealers on the side.

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I know without a doubt I would not revert back to my crime and I've had time to do some soul-searching and too many dramatic bangs have happened to my children or mutate a chance to end up back here. Once the release, this time has honestly broke me. I finally received bottom of the barrel, and it didn't feel good. So, if and when given a chance I will be a positive productive person in society. .

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it's not silly wanting to know how a “criminal mind works” .Anyone, male or female who deals with illegal activities has a different mind set. It seems to me that you have become involved with the guy who has serious insecurity problems. Take what I'm about to say as a complement. You must have been very special for this guy to be acting the way he's acting. I've seen plenty of females go to the same problem you have. First off, don't get the wrong misconception that every African man or ”criminal” as you say,is the same. I take it you are not African and that is one of the reasons why this guy is acting the way he is. Whatever nationality you are, this guy sees you as weak and inferior to his other female conquests, which I feel it's safe to say were African women. I do not see color is a factor because you are still a woman. But he doesn't see it that way then you are doing nothing more than feeding his ignorant ways, actions and thinking by showing him you fear him. And by feeding off your fear of him, he is trying to hide his weakness. Just because he's a criminal drug dealer or into other illegal activities, doesn't mean he should be feared, but there are many criminals and drug dealers were cowards and won't bust a grape. And he's doing just what a coward is supposed to do to someone who is weaker than him. If he was all about doing something to you, why didn't he do something when you left him now is using the oldest scare tactic, by having his friends watch you and you're falling for. I don't know what type of man you been trying to be with or have been trying to date you sense this break. But there ain't no way in hell you can call the men, if they're scared to date you because of this other guy. There, just as much cowards as your ex. You realize that you've already made the first and most important step in ending the problem. You left him. So if you could leave him. Then you can stand up to the ignorant messes he's doing. You also have to think you have a six-year-old child take care of, if you can't stand up for yourself, you need to stand up for your child's well-being . Because whatever you go through your child goes through. If you are living in fear your child will live in fear. You going to have to stand up to this guy and let him know you're not going to stand for his ignorance anymore and mean what you say, don't show any signs of weakness or fear, and I don't advocate getting the law involved in personal affairs. But in this case where a child is involved the law may have to be an alternative if he doesn't stop Slap a restraining order on his ass or get someone you know that's not scared of him to step up to him and put his ass in check. In any event you need to stand up to him. You have a life to live an a child to raise and you can't keep living in fear this man. Once you show him you don't fear him anymore then he can ‘t dictate your life, things will go better

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Dyani, first I would like to thank you for the positive and uplifting comment. It is a blessing to know that there are individuals like yourself that see what we are doing as positive and enlightening the masses. True, everyone deserves a second chance , and this is what we are trying to show and prove. The reason why people in society think negative about those of us who are in prison in the lack of understanding of self and of others. It is the experiences of our lives that births our expressions and if you don't understand our experiences you'll never understand our expressions. If you don't know the souls that live behind these walls, you'll never understand us. So they can't judge us, those same people who judge and looked down on those of us who are incarcerated, fail to realize that they are locked within a prison also. Their minds and souls have been corrupted with the negative thinking of society in the word of the higher power. You can find out that this mental and spiritual prison separates us from the higher power and prevents these individuals from thinking rational. This mental and spiritual prison is called “ignorance”. It was never supposed to be that way when the higher power created life in the world. But that's what happened because some decided to take control of their own lives, apart from a higher power. In reality these individuals and society have placed themselves above the higher power as they continue to judge belittle and ridicule others as if they are perfect, but they failed to realize they are one step from being behind these walls. Just because they live a productive life now doesn't mean a life changing experience is not inevitable and they may end up committing a crime without thinking. Ignorance makes people think life is all about them, and in the course of this thinking ,other people get hurt or ridiculed in so many different ways because of the thoughts and actions of this ignorant thinking. Once again, I want to thank you for your uplifting encouraging words. I encourage that you put the word out to your family and friends who share the same views and encourage them and others to support Ask a convict. Take care and made a higher power continue to bless you. Thanks for your prayers. Write me!

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Because if they work for those rights in a positive way they deserve to have those rights. You don't dig in their personal criminal past, gets a job over you, did you ever stop to think that they may be more qualified than you are. You don't think it's fair, as you've never lived in our shoes and in a way you feel like you're better than us. You just have a small judgmental mind. Small minds condemn anything they fail to understand

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How I feel about prison overcrowding? I feel the overcrowding of prisons is just a way to put more money in the pockets of those who don't care about the lives of prisoners and emotional strain of their family. It's a form of modern-day slavery. This lure to make big money by taxing the prisons and building more prisons is only corrupting the nation's criminal justice system by replacing notions of public service with the drive for higher profits and eagerness of elected officials to pass tough on crime legislation. Combined with their unwillingness to disclose the true costs of these laws has encouraged all sorts of financial improprieties. The key these prisons overcrowded is an amoral waste of scarce state monies and an obligation enforced on the states by the dictates of the federal law. But in turn it is also a source of political capital, and instead of using that money for self-help programs for prisoners, They used it to build more prisons and to get rich. The enormous increase in America's inmate population is in large part due to the sentences given to people who have committed nonviolent offenses. Crimes that in other countries would usually lead to community service, fines, drug treatment, or would not be considered criminal at all. In the United States now leads in prison farms, by far the most expensive form of punishment. It wouldn't matter if the courts were lenient or not, it still would not change the crime rate. The prison boom is what is called a social experiment to control a population that is all It’s about money and control.

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I would change the crime committed, as I almost got killed in the process of committing crime.

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What was I thinking when I committed my crime? I was thinking about getting that money so I can continue to take your kids and pay the bills

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If released today given the chance to live life without being district discriminated upon because of my past that I honestly think I could live a crime free. Or go back to my old ways. I know without a doubt I would not revert back to my crime and I've had time to do some soul-searching and too many dramatic bangs have happened to my children or mutate a chance to end up back here. Once the release, this time has honestly broke me. I finally received bottom of the barrel, and it didn't feel good. So, if and when given a chance I will be a positive productive person in society. . I know I'm up for the challenge work 40,50, or 60 hours a week. I have worked 60 hours a week as I've never had a problem finding a job and working. I kept a job. I just chose to sell drugs and rob drug dealers on the side.

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Rocio, I want to thank you for taking the time to write to our site. And I want to thank you for the positive comments he made about the intelligent minds that are incarcerated. A lot of us are now using that intelligence to become more productive and positive in life. I know that I am. It also remains true that those incarcerated can find true love and happiness and someone outside these walls. I have seen it many times. As myself, I'm still in search of my true love! Those who claim to have loved me and said they would stand by me have only disappointed me and turn their backs on me. But I haven't let those disappointments discourage me. It is only made me a stronger person and on the inside. And I know true love is out there waiting on me. And when we do find each other I have an abundance of love to give! But I know I will find my true love, one day! Being that you are fascinated by the criminal mind. I encourage you to do as much extensive research on the criminal mind as you can and you would like firsthand experience with the criminal mind get my address and phone contact me. We can touch basis on the criminal mind, many blessings to you, your brother and his wife. Dre’

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In response to Jimmy, yes I have a higher power. Some people may call this higher power” God””Allah” is or “Jah” or whatever works for the individual. I just referred to this divine being as “higher power”. I don't conform myself to no certain sect, religion, or denomination. I just know that there is a divine power greater than myself. I know this higher powered dwells within me, which makes us divine beings of this life and our destiny is purity is. Divinity within itself is the movement of our consciousness to a state of higher divine self. We must truly know ourselves to move our spirit, which is to awaken the divinity within ourselves. But through ignorance at the birth process we forget our divine selves, which is pure and innocent. Therefore we must go forward into innocence, a state of not knowing the illusion and not knowing ignorance so that illumination of mind and spirit can be manifest.
Dre’

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To Angel,
My opinion is the worst mistake you can ever make is to put your son on medication. Some children are a little more active than others in over a course of times, particularly a child, will grow out of all that activities, and being his brain hasn't fully developed medication only heard him emotionally and mentally medication only suppresses or hides the problem altering a child's physiological pattern. They will become more dependent on the medication than on reality. Reality to them only be an illusion that the medication provides for the child. And once you take them off the medication, thinking the problem is solved. The medication has only created another psychological problems within the child. You have to deal with, so my advice to you, would be unwise to put your son on medication and reassembled plenty of love and attention guide them in the right direction. You and God are the sole leaders of his life. Dre

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PJ,
I must say that yor father was right when he made that statement”Don’t judge a book by its cover” You are right. People do judge a book by it’s cover. I know a lot of guys, white and black, who have been in the same situation you have. They are the coolest ,nicest ,most humblest people you’ll want to meet. But if you disrespect them and these days out or put your hands on them. They'll will your ass people endure this type of disrespect as people are ignorant and who you really are because you don't care yourself in a way they approve of, a CU is an easy target for verbal and physical abuse. Some people do change their body language, or do some sort of metaphysical action to keep from being an easy mark. But if you wasn’t groomed from the beginning to have an aggressive manner, I don't recommend you change your existing manner, then you would be conforming to what those ignorant individuals want to be, Not being yourself. I’ll give you two things you can try. The first one is what I would've done. I would go to every person that I feel has a problem with me or has a problem with me. My approach would have been a little aggressive manner, but I also would be cool about it. And I would ask them what type of problem, do they have with me. Why don't they like me, and depending on what they say that's how I would handle the situation. And I would let them know, you can be men and talk about it or we can act like a fool and fight. If they act stupid and don't talk start woopin’ they ass. If they act civil see if you can talk it out. Ive learned from experience that most people will show more respect if you step to them first and try not to do it if they are with others around. Try to pull them along to the side. People tend to act big around the crowd. Secondly, ignore the ignorance of others. Words, can't hurt you, if someone says something out the way continue to hold your head high and smile. Keep on, if you're in a position where you got to say something be polite about what you say, but if anyone in danger space comes at you in a threatening manner tries or what they hands on you. Don't talk start ‘woopin is they ass. Some people just want to see how far they can push you or see if you got any heart or not. And once People's see you aint scared to fight, eventually they'll leave you alone. Trust me, I know. But don't let the rest of others discourage you from doing the positive thing you are doing. Continue to be yourself, polite, courteous and well groomed, and I hope that everything works out for best.
Dre’

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When it comes to the incarceration rate of blacks in prison, I would have to say that it deals with both crime issues and races issues. When it comes to the races issue it mainly deals with the state you're in, and how bad the crime rate is in that state. Take in a state I'm in, North Carolina, North Carolina was once a slave state when slavery was round. There are a lot of racist people in North Carolina and the court system. So a lot of blacks don’t get fairness in N.C.. With crime it’s not that blacks commit more crimes. It’s that blacks commit Worser crimes, But with the younger generation coming up. Blacks are committing more, especially with more younger blacks going gangs, and by this, blacks are receiving harsher sentence, and a lot problems from low enforcement. Blacks have made it hard on themselves by continuing to fall victim to the streets and negative forces. So in order to change the condition of the higher incarceration of blacks. We must first change the condition of ourselves as a people

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Sure why not. Although I am not gay.

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Media and society always view prison as a negative place were inhuman acts take place. Every prison is different. There was a time when a lot of rapes and assaults took place. Just because you were young and good looking, didn't mean you have to fight to find ta daddy to take care of you. You could of been young or old, good-looking or ugly, and still get tried. Back then it was about, if you can hold your own guys would try you to see if you were weak or strong as only the strong survive me had to fight just to see where you fit and after guys saw that he can hold your own. You are left alone, you'd did have a lot of sexual predators and would try you. You may or may not had to fight for your manhood. But once you showed he wasn't given up your manhood you are left alone. How you carried yourself is how you are treated. If you are weak, eventually you'd end up with a daddy to protect and take care of you. If you were strong your time was easy, but like I said it all depended on the prison he was at and how you carry self. Now, whoever told you about these new electronic beems that cause you pain. I think they've been reading and watching too many sci-fi movies . I have been in and out of prison for a long time and I've never heard anything like that. And I'm pretty sure whoever told you about these hasnnever heard of it either. The only thing I know of is that prisons used to control out of control situations is a shield that stuns you, but it's a full length shield the cops use for riots. But this shield has a little electronic prong type things on the outer part of the shield. So when someone gets hit with the shield it shocked you into submission. Basically it's an oversized protective stun gun. I also know of some prisons in other cities that you stun guns or stun gun sticks of electronic beams know. Tell whoever told you that, to lay off the hard drugs.
Dre’

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You want to know why prisoners have websites? The same reason you and millions of others have websites, to get exposure for whatever reason. I'm not even get an entertaining your ignorance has your mad that prisoners have websites. Seems like you live a miserable and boring life worrying about prisoners having websites as as you like prisoner should be stripped of all privileges you should be stripped of your ignorant thinking and blessed with the knowledge of who you really are. Dre

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Response to the woman who seeks legal help her husband. I understand how you feel ,and what you and your husband is going through. I see cases like your husbands all the time. I know for a fact our legal/ justice system is corrupt. You have very few that work for the best interests of the excuse. I don't have any addresses are numbers for legal help, and I know to organizations that may feel that help or lead you in the right direction. Try to contact the end, a NAACP and explain to them your husband situation and go online to www.the talking drum.com. They may have info or links that can help you whatever you do don't give up the fight and continue to pray God bless you and your husband.
Dre’
.................................................................................................Jon, remember lady who logged on asking for help with her husband's case her name is Nikki. I found some info that might help her. “National prison Project, ACLU legal foundation, 1875 Connecticut Ave. Northwest, Suite 410 Washington, DC 2009”, and also “ Southern Center for human rights, CEO 83 Poplar St SW, Atlanta, GA 30303-2122” And “intimate legal assistance program. 78 Oak St, P.O. Box 260237 Hartford Connecticut”. Please forward this to her

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This isn’t Rockwell s’ reply. This is Warden Jons’ reply. I am the creator of ask a convict.com
I will forward this to Rockwell. Also I just want to say if you leave your e-mail it will never be shared with anyone not the convicts or anyone. It enables me to contact you when your replys come back and are posted.
As I read Lynns’ comments I can understand her frustration and horror a t what she perceives as Rockwells’ Response. I guess it is because I have gotten to know Rockwell That I understand his answer to the question “What is it like to kill another person?” I told Rockwell the Question wasn’t directed to him but he could answer it. Rockwell was speaking about people in general. The original question was sent to only one member of ask a convict but I asked everyone because I thought it was a good question.
As Lynn noticed, I write the answers exactly as I receive them. I sometimes use a voice recognition program so not all the misspellings show up but I try to change most of them back to the original. Many of the inmates us words like dis and dat and dem. Others are very well read and intelligent. Some of them have poor handwriting so I have trouble reading it.
Lynns’ response to the web site is common. Many people are angry at the fact that I give a voice to people who have committed horrible acts of violence. The general view of the public is these people have committed crimes and should be punished to the fullest extent possible. My interactions with these inmates have shown me they are being punished, dehumanized, and often mentally and physically abused. GOOD you say. Ok, I accept that, but what if it was your mom, wife, brother, sister, or dad? Some of these people have grown up in a life where crime is a way of life. Many times their mom, sisters, and dad, if he was around, all have been or are in prison. No it’s not an excuse, but it may be a bit of insight.
Once these inmates have been locked up for years they start to think about what they have done. Many change. Some have an inner rehabilitive change but they will never be released. The people on askaconvict.com are here to try to help guide people not to make the same mistakes. We also are working on giving inmates hope and a reason to continue on. The Unites States has 2.5 Million people in prison right now. That is one in 100 people. 1 out of 10 people either are or have been in Jail or prison at least once. We have 5% of the worlds’ population and 25% of the inmates. We can’t just throw these people away. People tell me what I am doing is a waste I should be spending my time with victims or something more worthwhile. I think trying to help societys’ lost and thrown away is worth wile. Before you criticize me ask yourself what you are doing to make the world a better place.

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do you ever get to the point where they no longer want outside contact.
Depending on the circumstances of the prisoner. Yes prisoner sometimes gets to the part where they don't want any outside contact. I have been like that and I've seen others like that by your friend losing his appeal that could have a major effect on you, and his correspondence in the beginning, everything was good as the both of you were looking forward to his appeal going through. Now that his appeal was denied he may be looking at it as you've been there for seven years. But now I had to do 10 more years, and he doesn't want to take you through that or he may think you can't make it with him for those last 10 years, so he'd rather just let you go then to go through the disappointment of losing you after seven years. I'm pretty sure he has gotten emotionally attached to you in some form or fashion and have someone lead you after so many years of communication is a very big disappointment prisoners, and it really hurts. I've been through many times, but after seven years old that you do for him. He should see that you're a loyal friend and not to turn your back on them having that close contact with someone. Family friends etc. it is something we need but most don't have. I understand there is only so much you can do, but I encourage you not to give up on your friend. You're doing good with what you're doing you're showing your loyalty and sticking by him. Your friend is going through some things within himself right now, and to lose your upliftment and encouraging support would crush him ill come around and see that he has a loyal friend in his corner. Just keep the encouraging letters going and don't give up on continue to show that you're part of the strength and in due time, things will be back to normal between the two of you . Dre’

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Response 2 Jackie.....Jackie;I know u\'ve probably heard negative things about inmates.But 1 thing i know 4 certain,there r alot of good,intelligent,& loving people guys n prison.U just have 2 b able 2 decipher who has good intentions & bad ones.If u really want 2 write sum1,i reccomend dat u write no more than 1 person unless u choose 2 write more.Study their profile.Women r a good judge of character.Do a criminal babkground check.Ree if they have any history of women abuse.Once u have established contact wit dem,Explain why you are writing & what you expect from da correspondence.It should b nn confusion n what you want. Don\'t b afraid to ask personal questions.If they try to avoid da question, or you feel like they are lying end da correspondance in a nice way. If u don\'t feel comfrontable wit giving out your address get a P.O box. If a person is not discussing sumthing positive, beneficial, etc,etc, then you are wasting your time. If you want 2 keep contact once they get out,find some one with five years or less so you\'ll have some time to get to know them....Theses are just a few things to consider when writing an inmate to help avoid any harassment. Any other concerns you have about dis matter please contact me.DRE.

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I will never admit that I have killed someone, but I will give you a short true account of what it is like. It is quite an experience, a memory that you will never be able to erase no matter how hard you try. You can suppress the memory, but it will always be right on the edge of your thoughts ready to spill out. The experience is mind blowing. It could be good or bad depending on what type of mood you are in. It could be as easy as blinking your eyes, or as hard as winning 1 million dollars. Depending on the person, once you do it for the first time it becomes an ordinary thing. You have the power to take someone\\\\\\\'s life, you have the power to decide if a person lives or dies. It is an experience you would only know if you killed someone. It is like an adrenaline rush from a drug that is pure and uncut. And the most exciting thing about the experience, is watching the person\\\\\\\'s eyes cloud and the life leave their body. But once it\\\\\\\'s over in the rush is gone and you think about it and ask yourself, Was it worth it or not, but for those who like the rush. They will probably kill again.

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To the female in Seattle
Being that I have been in and out of prison and have been in relationships, I can relate to your boyfriend, and also, how you feel. One thing you must understand prison stagnates a person. Prison robs you of the true experience of life and also robs you of your emotions. It is not that your boyfriend doesn't care about you, he may still be in that institutionalized state of mind. And it\'s hard for him to come out of it. In prison, depending on the prison, you can\'t show any emotions. Guys will take you as weak, which will cause you a lot of problems. Six years in prison does a lot to an individual. Some people don\'t have anyone they can sit down and express themselves to. So they bought all those emotions up sometimes makes a person a motionless. In prison, you have no one to show real love to. For example, our way of showing respect and love to a close friend or homeboy in prison is giving them something this materialistic. Which in your case he\\\\\\\'s giving you things to show you he cares what you need to do is find a time when your boyfriend seems to be at peace. I think a good time would be after a good night of sex. Start off by asking him how he really feels about you. You take the first step and open up them know you appreciate the material things he buys you is not all about what he can do for you but them know you\\\\\\\'re worried about his emotional state, and you want to talk about it. Don\\\\\\\'t press him. Let them open up at his own pace. Let them know you rather have his love and to be more emotional. Instead of him getting new material things. Over time if he doesn\\\\\\\'t change. It might be best to move on. Because his caged emotions could have an effect on your emotions which could leave you in a state of despair.

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Adriana, I wish it was more people like you, who would like to help improve the prison situation and rehabilitation methods for prisoners. It is sad to say that you are one of the few who is interested and want to help. I have been coming to prison long enough to have witnessed the change within the system. At one point in time, prisons were the interested in the rehabilitation of an inmate. There was a time when prisoners had different self-help programs, school programs, outreach programs, etc. all of that is changed. Now, the only thing we have is a few schooling programs. The prison system in the United States have become a multimillion dollar industry! To put it more simply, modern-day slavery, where money used to be put into the rehabilitation programs for inmates and prisons and those reentering society. It is now being used to build more prisons. In the last five years, North Carolina has built for new prisons for close custody inmates. They're spent uncountable money to push for harsher sentencing guidelines to make sentences longer has the system no longer an inmate stays in prison, the more money they make a habit in our building. More industries within the prisons that makes certain items and work inmates for long hours with little or no pay a job in society that would pay at least minimum wage an inmate works a job for eight to 10 hours, five days a week for $.40 to a dollar a day, while the prison system makes hundreds of thousands, maybe millions every year. In North Carolina and a few other states if an inmate gets a write up for disciplinary action. The state takes $10 from this inmate's account. So if an inmate receives three write ups, and his family sends $30 the state takes all of the money. They use the money for office parties and the states needs, instead of investing the money on programs. They cut the existing programs and use the money to fix prisons to make them better.

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Response to the 21 year old unemployed blackman. First off, let me say if I was your mother, I would have kicked your lazy ass out the house a long time ago! Ain’t no way in the hell I’m gonna let a grown man or woman lay around my house & free load while I bust my ass to pay bills & such. Something must be wrong with your mother for letting you stay & lay around for that long..Now, you have a 38 year old woman who wants you to be with her with strings. It’s alright for an older woman to be with a man of age & visa versa; but something is very wrong with this woman if she wants a lazy ass brother like you! She ain’t got her priorities together. For starters, before you start worrying about being with & living with another woman, you need to get yourself together. A woman is only gonna be with a man for so long if she see he ain’t gonna work no more & she might not be as nice as your mother. You might end up homeless. So before you go getting all deep in a relationship &moving in with another woman. Work, save your money & get your own place so you’ll have something to fall back on. Stand up & be a man. Mama ain’t gonna be around forever to take care of your lazy ass. And make sure you pay your mother back for all your freeloading!!!

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Join GA (Grandmothers Association) because at 35 you’ll be one of the youngest and hottest members which the others will envy, but wouldn’t want to be since most of the parenting will fall on your shoulders. Or you can speak with your daughter about the backlash of dating a 19 y.o. such as youthfulness, education, his/ her sincerity, job opportunities, career etc, but becareful not to push her farther into his arms cause at 15 she’s easily alienated and if she’s determined to continue dating him there’s always birth control and prayer. Oh I forgot Grandparents Day is celebrated the Sunday after Labor Day.

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