A:

Elizabeth,
Well self pleasure is things of prison, that and having a good imagination cause we know that for the most part inmates cannot have sex on a frequent basis. I myself am a sex fiend, so it brings me good vibes when I see females in the environment. Homosexuality does exist in some prisons, but not all prisons condone such behaviour. Now what happens behind closed doors is another matter. There are things you can do to get mind working whether it be pornographic material (some prisons) or the reading sex books. It would be nice to have some naked blow up dolls. I myself have too much time to be allowed family visits. We sometimes don’t even know what we can do, I’m sure you probably think one would get bored, “but would you get bored with too much sex”??? That’s the $50.00 dollar question, it depends on what goes on with the way one sees the world. I have a healthy sex life even if i am in prison. Not your typical type of sex, but it’s sex nonetheless. It releases the frustration. I feel a whole lot better, I can lay there and watch programs and let mind wonder. I do like big butt girls so that usually gets the body working. The rest is all mental reason being that we don’t even realize just how things really are, I’m not saying that will replace the feeling of being with a woman or trying to be with another man, even if it is you doing the fucking. I want to see a pussy when I lick anywhere. I do hope I have enlightened you some about what we need to be doing for ourselves.
Have a good day... Write me
Faustino

A:

well, I personally didn't murder anyone, but the law says I'm aiding and abbetting, which basically carries the same time as if I've done it. So I carry the same time, 32 to life as codefendant. As to why, I'd have to answer stupidity, a personal matter that went bad.

A:

Yes, there are inmates who cry themselves to sleep especially one's family has come and gone. Remember one is still human. Only difference is incarcerated we all do different things to help us forget By dwelling on something sad it creates feelings that can create bitterness and depression.
Yes prison is cold for some reason. The air always seem to be up full blast, one always has to stay bundled up. We do get two thin sheets but also get two blankets. So one does stay warm at night. You can go to sleep and anytime you want here and you can sleep all day if you want. That is unless you have a present job assigned . The best thing for one is to get themselves a good program going. I for one am set in my ways. I have my own hours, which work for me. Everything is unlocked, at 6 a.m. and lockdown at 9 p.m. In the morning they announce breakfast, but they don't wake you up, as you don't have to go if you don't want to . NO They don't have loud morning alarms or bang on your cell. Not to say it doesn't happen in other prisons are states in all depends on where you're at cell living is better as more privacy

A:

Yes, as I suspected, you are upset and bitter about the fact that your baby Daddy hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Instead he has been in and out of prison. You're letting the actions of one person (your Ex ), I'm assuming determine your feelings about everyone else who is incarcerated. I’ll be the first to admit people do seem to find God in prison. I look at that as a copout for the very reason that you yourself have experienced. In prison Christians or people into their religion are usually let alone and not bothered for the most part. So a lot of people say they turned Christian to avoid things. I've tried to understand those people as well. Some of them have something to hide (under cover child molesters,) but that's where you have a misconception of inmates. You should be mad at the politicians, court, and judges who protect these people. You wouldn't have to worry about child molesters getting out, as they wouldn't make it a place in general population with everyone else. So your anger is directed at the wrong direction. We also see them as despicable beings. If you are treated like dirt by someone you trusted, you shouldn't deny someone else a second chance. So to actually change for the better. It looks like you already made up your mind, though. Anyone can respect your decision. We are not asking that you feel sorry for us. I myself don't need any pity. I want to know someone who is for real and not doing things because of some obligation. I too have a daughter who's had to suffer my absence for the last 17 years. I can’t give her that time back. Do I feel guilty? Yes! There is nothing I can do, so, I don't get bitter about it and make the best out of life regardless of the situation I may be in. Your’e looking for revenge. You can even tolerate abusive guards, even though they violate the law that says a lot about your sense of being.You speak out of anger. That's okay, but at least directed at those who caused your ire and not by putting everyone else in the same basket. I do wish you good luck and sin sincerly I hope you're able to find something to give you peace of mind.

A:

Answer to Maria, you ask me if there are avenues to file complaints about anything. Yes, there is it's called an inmate appeals form, commonly referred to as a 602. You can file complaints against staff correctional officers, lack of medical attention, and cold food. If not properly addressed, there are a lot of issues, one can raise. Inmates are issued a title 15 (prisoners rules and regulations) that states what we are entitled to. So it's not hard to file a complaint and have it addressed. There is information on fist second and third level. So you can pursue it to the director if need be, or even the courts once you've exhausted your ministry of remedies, everything has its own set of guidelines, though. We do have rights, though.
Yes about the weather it is been cold here as well as cloudy and rainy. It is cleared up for the most part, When a rain has come and gone it actually gets colder in the cell. One day I went out to the yard, and my hands got all non-playing football in the frigid cold rain. Took me back years, sometimes I still think I am a teenager. I do hope I answered your question, I also hope you have yourself a nice day and a great week. Thanks for asking a question anytime you wish dropped at all even look on the calendar when you log on to the site

A:

Yes, it's very hard to be able to succeed. Once released with no type of support. I think being rejected by one's family is even worse is that creates resentment, making it more likely he will return as he may think the only type of camaraderie is in prison. Their people probably treat him better than his own family, so feeling, alone with no place to go, he may see no other way but to commit another crime, and he'll be returned to prison, It is sad, but that's reality. One does what one needs be done to survive and if that means committing another crime then so be it. Life is cruel like that . sometimes though, I don't see it as no excuse, though. It is using, that is a copout. People sometimes find it easier to blame all on the hand they were dealt in life. One needs to be able to pick one's self-up, one can succeed if one wishes by having a support network, it makes a big difference. It can be the difference between succeeding or failing. Once released from prison, if you have more of an incentive to succeed, and I think that will help a whole lot. I hope I've answered your question, one doesn't starve once released, though the parole agent is required to provide housing and allow its food stamps. A lot of the time though, the housing that is provided in a seedy part of town. So that won't tell people need to understand you don't want to angry individual being released from prison. The thing is to give him and show him the support he needs.

A:

Answered to curious. I have one daughter, and although I haven't heard from her in a while she does write me from time to time. It's been a while since I last heard from her shall be 18 this year is not old enough to come see me alone. It is hard to be or set an example from a situation I'm in that I do try to give her advice says she doesn't make the same mistakes as me and the end. It'll be up to her, though just how much of it she accepts. She's been a foster home for time I've been incarcerated because there hasn't been no one there to take care of her mother had them taken away and never return. I never received no visit from her though. She's on her own things. I do hope it will eventually change though. Thank you for your time.

A:

Jasmin, well, I personally didn't murder anyone, but the law says I'm aiding and abbetting, which basically carries the same time as if I've done it. So I carry the same time, 32 to life as codefendant. As to why, I'd have to answer stupidity, a personal matter that went bad.

A:

Jasmine, happy holidays to you, and that you have a hop happy and positive new year. No. I'm not in high max, but I'm in general pop highest level. Yes, we are in a cell with partners. There is a high degree of supervision in this prison setting.

A:

I took my family for granted. I can't even count the amount of times my mother told me to straighten out and get my life together. Where are your friends when you're in jail and though all that she's still there. I was really an unappreciative son. I couldn't seem to settle down, even when the opportunity was there. Even my father tried to get me started and job but that never lasted. You don't want to take your mother and father for granted as later on in life, one does regret it. One really has to think about the consequences. Sometimes it's not exactly what we're trying to hear what it is the truth. At least that's how it come at to be . Had I listened I'd be in a different light now, so listen to your parents.

A:

I don't care if you are in a wheel chair. I like to meet new people . Write me and I'll write you back.

A:

Answer to Samantha –NO they don't give male prisoners pills for the libido unless they’re requested. For legal reasons medication is only administered by choice. Medication cannot be forced on anyone. As for how prisoners relieve sexual drives the most common thing is masturbation. If one has a good imagination, one can fantasize. Some prisons have homosexuals so if you're into that then that's another way. There is privacy at night, especially in cell living. One has his times, but in a dorm setting it would be more of a process, but it's common nothing to be ashamed about. Some inmates are married and have conjugal visits every three months for about three days. So the possibilities are there for those who wish to indulge in such behavior

A:

I plead the 5th on that question, other then it's never good to kill another human being because once that person is gone its forever. You have to remember those people have family that will suffer emotional stress for the rest of their lives. The loss of a loved one brings on a whole new set of problems and issues. Television, video games and books like to glamorize death. But it’s not a fantasy world when you actually do it in the real world. Spending the rest of your life in prison where someone tells you all the time when you can or can't do something. So don't believe the hype, as they say, always respect life and your fellow human beings. My mistake would be one I wouldn't want you repeating the thing you need to focus on and be interested in, aren’t death and workings of a criminal mind. Think of studying CSI type courses. This way, at least you'll be able to benefit from for time, being focused yourself and on education and making plans as to what you wish to take in college or to other ways of satisfying your interests without resorting to actually experiencing it. I wish you much success in life. Don't let yourself be influenced by negative influences. Good luck in your positive endeavors.

A:

Rocio,
I just want to say thank you for your input and positive attitude towards inmates. You're a criminal justice major? That sounds fascinating. Who Better to learn from than actual criminals? We are not all bad, and deserve a second chance. By doing this I'm hopefully doing some good. Hopefully helping someone not going down the incorrect path. You've experienced the “going away” of a loved one for seven years, first-hand. So you can relate and are able to see that people do change for the better , learning by their bad experiences. It does help very much to have a support network. As for finding that one true love yes, I believe there is someone out there for me. I mean, real love, not just appreciation because there for me. I’ll continue to look. And I have been. Who knows she is probably right in front of me, but I just don't realize it yet. I educated myself in legal criminal law, and especially math. I was able to pick it up better now. And I have a high school diploma, so I wasn't a complete Burro. Smile. Now, just trying to help my 15 year old sister get the college as I tell her there's nothing wrong with wanting something better. At the same time, though, don't lose sight of who you are or where you came from, or look down on people, because you feel you're better than them. I'd like for my sister to send me a letter one day saying she's a criminal justice major, lawyer ,Dr., Judge or who knows even warden of a prison. Smile. that would be something, my family means a lot to me. I always worry about my sisters though. The guys can fend for themselves. I want to wish you luck and much promise in your life endeavors. Hope to hear from you again. Yes I do have a big heart, and always try to stay humble, as everyone I have my faults. I think one of them is to fall in love with all the women I see. I'm just kidding. I hope I was able to bring a little chuckle to your day.

A:

The answer to your question would be a yes, I do believe in a higher being, though not a specific religion. So I'm not a Christian. I do not knock people, though, regardless of whether Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, or etc. etc. Who is to say who's wrong and who's right? Throughout the centuries people have used religion to justify genocide, hatred, war, subjugation and other abuses on race or people as they didn't believe in their god. If being a Christian, and believing in God helps you by giving you peace of mind, joy, happiness and then that's all that should matter. This question is a loaded one. I can go into a very deep discussion on it. Probably write a book. This is a very touchy subject. I like to joke around and say I'm an atheist, but as I said I do believe in a higher power who will judge me when the time comes. I have my rituals that give me peace of mind as I said before, I don't knock or make judgments about other people's religion. Though I do have my own personal views, and based on my own experiences and knowledge acquired over the years with the same thought in mind. I do try to do the right thing as everyone. I do have my own faults and shortcomings, always trying to improve on my way of thinking. I have come a long way. I say more power to you for your beliefs and love God. And yet not judge other people's beliefs.

A:

To Angel.
You know what's funny. I just had a neighbor named Angel, who is just paroled. some coincidence that would be. Parole is not difficult. You just need to discipline yourself. I know jobs are not easy to come by, but getting a job or something that'll keep your time occupied as a first step. I think when people have too much time on their hands, it leads the mischief. Also the type of people you hang around with. I’m not saying to forget about your friends. But just those who just look for any type of mischief, of course staying away from drugs also helps. I don't know if you use or not, Don't get discouraged when things don't seem to go right. It's a learning process. You have to think of your three year old boy anytime you might make a decision that will affect them. If you're on parole or probation is the first step is to get off since that's like a shackle. Your priority is your son. Right now, everything else should be irrelevant. Sometimes it may seem hard to change. But it's just in your mind, the hardest part is wanting to change and taking that first step , the rest is easy because you already made the hardest decision, which was to change. Anyone who claims to be your friend and wants you to make a bad decision is not your friend. If you have to be a sucker to feel included in your hanging around with the wrong crowd. Believe me, once you get locked up they won't be no where in sight. Or buy the stuff your baby needs . So don't let guilt prevent you from changing it’s the right step. I wish you good luck in your son.

A:

Yes you're right words behind others having a redemption doesn't mean one has to forgo past acquaintances. So, I don't see why an inmate not be believed if he keeps with the company. It would be like having religious relatives. They don't stop going to family outings, because there is a soldier's family. They just don't indulge in such stuff, one needs to be judged by their actions, not by what others do. It don't matter if he's a murderer or just a drug addict and everyone is a potential murderer They just haven't been placed in such a situation. Don't be so quick to judge. People change their lives all the time. So it's something feasible. Of course if they're sincere and not using it as an excuse to avoid other issues. Everyone assumes every inmate has a certain angle. They after all, the con in convict is not there for nothing. So don't let the look of the book, fool ya. Take time to read the first page is before you make your on whether the story is sincere

A:

Clean Cut white kid hua?(smile) Yea the first thing, you must not show fear. Yet not act like your shit don't stink. Sometimes people since that your in fear or are disgusted by their way of being. Take Paris Hilton for example. Anyone else would have never done time for what she did. But because she publicly thumbed her nose at everyone as if she couldn't be touched or was too good to attend court. She never even showed any emotion, like it was a joke to her, thinking her family's money would get her out. She didn't count on the public outrage of her attitude and had she showed emotion and being humbled. The backlash he created would've never ensued. The judge was put in a corner. He could no longer look the other way. So he had to act upset and had her returned to custody. It’s true you must never judge a book by its cover, so you have the right idea. You continue to be you, the scuffles as long as you don't try to avoid them will only earn your respect and in time they'll ignore you. Do you know a lot of the time they're hiding their own fear by doing this. When they seel you don't back down they'll feel scared. I've taken bumps and bruises, but I've always gotten back up earning their respect. The most respectful person can be a coldhearted individual. Don't ever change who you are, as that’d be giving up your identity. Once you do that, you might as well spend over. I’m not saying her go postal on anyone. That's never a good thing, but don't be afraid to get a black eye in the end it will pay off. And when you don't back down or take a different route when you're always walked down the same one. Yes you do need to be careful with those predators. They don't do no good for no one. It doesn't matter what color you are, everyone needs to be judged by their own actions. Many people do judge a book by its cover, that doesn't mean you have to. I have also read Nietzsche. Fascinating stuff, you need to speak to people on their level. You know what I recommend is the art of seduction and the 48 laws of power. I think you'll find them very interesting submerges you into some forms of human behavior. Used that as a guide not as a law, like everything. It has its drawbacks, I wish you luck in your endeavors. PJ keep your head up and stay strong.

A:

Dear anonymous,
why? That was short and to the point. Why? You and me were things over me a choice of bad Judgment and be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess you can say being an idiot also comes into play. Though I don’t want to make excuses. The vast, probably would have been something else, or by pushing up daisies by now. He wasn't so much the intent or the why , but the who is(innocent bystanders) and even though I didn’t pull the trigger the law found me guilty.

A:

Now as to how life would be different now. Now that's a loaded question, as one can talk a good one lwhile in prison, yet all hold different outlooks once released. I think the chage has to occur within these walls. I've had plenty of time to contemplate, what and why got me into that prison to begin with. I've made personal changes myself, that would make me a better person without using a copout as an excuse, I've owned up to my circumstances and want to do something better. I want to be able to wake up with a female by my side every morning with the sense and ordor of her body on my domain and want to help out my mother and my two sisters. Brothers can fend for themselves smile, the law of the jungle. I've educated myself in here, I refrain from bad addictions, so that won't be a problem for me. I think the hardest thing for me would be readjusting to society. The wisdom, knowledge and discipline. I've acquired in here would allow me to succeed.

A:

The answer to your first inquiry, No! Prison is not how is portrayed in movies, most of it is outdated or myths that are being exploited to have a more marketable movie is vary from state to state myself speak for California, a different types of prisons whose house different types of people in general population. So you wouldn't see child molesters, rapists or homosexuals here in protective custody. So when you see the movie is how they're all mixed to fabrication. And that's regardless of what he and less of course there are sensitive. They just don't take people's booty smile, regardless of how you know, that don't mean guys don't do. But that's basically how far it goes. You still have to stay in your own 2 feet, or you'll just be used for a person's word is law that respect will long way. As far as those electric Beach referred to a Horatio Alger that are out there in a balloon fetish. Right now that he's teaching as she points in these at you or one with rabbit ears that they touch you said you along with some strong chemical sprays. No one say whoever told you, that is lined with beans are experimental still. So they could be using them as Ginny's I've seen a story on in Iraq. I can say one thing, though, that is the future that yes it does sound weird, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to have Your questions asked.

A:

Previous answer--------You ask what it's like to kill another person. It's nothing to brag about, nor gratifying, unless you're just a cold-blooded person or some type of serial killer. It takes an emotional toll. Because not only did you destroy another person's life, but his families as well. Don't listen to the hype on T.V. , in the movies, video games and books. Different people react to it differently after many years. It really makes you think that it\'s really not all that. You aren\'t one of those people, one hears about on the news all the time are you? Who are planning to go out with a bang. Washington has prisons for that! you be good! I\'m glad this site fascinates you, as you fascinate me to. I always had a thing for redheads. Then again, I've had a thing for women in general,( smile )is that bad? Don't be shy about writing in with more questions you might not like what you hear from me. But you get the real from me. After so many years your outlook changes a lot of things

A:

yes, I guess OMG! Would be the right word for someone who couldn't believe why a prisoner would take the time to hopefully help someone to not make the same mistakes as he did. One can’t change what has already happened or lessen the hurt caused by the loss of a loved one. This for me is just one way to correct past wrongs, I'm sorry for any loss you've suffered at the hands of someone, but by judging everyone in the same sentence will not allow you or me to find healing. And just to make you feel more at ease. Inmates don't have access, nor are they allowed to surf the web. So you need not worry about some predator out there trying to hurt anyone. Yes, prisoners do have to get educated and rehabilitated before being released back into society. You have to understand, you don't want some angry and bitter person leaving with a grudge because people with the same way of thinking and mentality towards prisoners decides “the hell with them, they don't deserve or should not be allowed to correct their errors.” Just as you were able to freely express your opinion here, without censorship, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to as well. Having penpals for support, helps in the rehabilitation process and allows for caring people to demonstrate to those forgotten souls behind these grey walls that they're not forgotten. Your letting hatred and revenge cloud your better judgment. As for privileges, prisoners have been losing them gradually and at the rate they're disappearing, rest assured, pretty soon we will not have any. We don't live in Disneyland as some would like you to believe. On that note, I’ll close your out. All I ask is to give prisoners benefit of the doubt before you judge all of us.

A:

Well to start off with I hear your frustration. The wheels of justice or slow, but you must never give up on knocking on doors eventually someone will let you in, just so you'll stop bugging( no pun intended) There are organizations out there who dedicate themselves to exposing wrongdoing. Here is an address I have you can write and get information.
Justice denied, P.O. Box 68911, Seattle, WA 98168. This magazine is dedicated to exposing cases of wrongful convictions. You can probably find something in there that can be useful to you in the meantime, write your local and federal representatives. You can file a complaint with the state bar of Tennessee. Of course he needs to continue the state to appeal. Then once exhausted state habeas corpus relief, state and federal level. I know, you may not really understand all this, but those are steps you must take. Here is also an address, National lawyers Guild, prison Law Project 132 Nassau Street, Suite 922 New York, NY 10038. You can seek information from them on lawyers issues. You may be able to find those sites on the web, but I myself don't have them. They will be including a resource Center, where you will eventually have people to contact, which will be useful to family members who seek information about legal issues are just from what he described. In regards to your husband's case. You have good grounds. The judge should have never conducted trial. That's a conflict of interest and is a violation of his constitutional rights to a fair and unbiased trial. He needs to bring up those ground on his appeal and he also can't sit around and let someone else do is work used to getting that law library and study only he knows his case better than anyone. But he needs to file miss conduct complaints and even write to your local media expose what you feel is a very corrupt system laws confusing, but you have to hold yourself together, for his sake. He must let the lawyers do their part, though. Or your husband can proceed pro se he can file motions to appellate courts of your state. So all evidence transcripts are forwarded to him. That's his right and you need to make it your mission to exposing corrupt prosecutors and judges with like-minded people from your area. I'm sure they want you to go away, but you must not let yourself forming your own organization, if need be. Nothing is corrected without a struggle at the same time. It must be a productive exposure. Yes I agree with you on the innocent project. It's hard to receive actions, another good source is law students in your local college or looking for the experience. They taken on cases and gotten people exonerated. So there are plenty of avenues to take don't get discouraged by rejections yet don't be a nag because that can be counterproductive. You'll be looked at like some crazy lady. The good part is he the least off death row. So a wrong was corrected now. You must write up the process, and you may once again succeed I myself have been incarcerated 18 years. Yet, the struggle continues, but the worst thing a lawyer hates is for people to keep calling all the time for any little thing, or even worse to have other people call them family members. So just be patient and look for support organizations in your area and make yourself useful, make a change so that you don't happen to no one else. You can be a crusader for the cause of justice

A:

Lynn,(and Jon)
In regards to your comment which I felt was enlightening, and Warden Jon shouldn’t be making excuses for Rockwell. That’s the whole point of the website. She (Lynn) felt strongly about it and she stated her opinion. That’s why you need to choose wisely. Prison Is full of people who like to brag about How bad ass of person he is. You (JON) shouldn’t be defending him, for he knew what he signed up for, If he doesn’t like the heat get out of the fire. One always has to keep it real and honest. Its true what she said about” not giving people useful information or counseling people” After all that’s the whole purpose of this site or at least that’s what you led me to believe. One needs that kind of feedback to see a different point of view. I didn’t see anything with her response. Rockwell just needs to write more clearly instead of sounding to sophicticated .(oops lost my dictionary). Smile. He needs to write it were it is simple. I couldn’t even understand what he was saying. But you’ve got a retraction and it’s exactly what you needed. Wouldn’t you agree? On that note I’ll close. At this letter all signs are good. Don’t be discouraged or offended by the letters like that, cause it won’t be the last and one just needs to approach it in a respectful manor.

A:

Dear Cindy,
You asked if prisoners ever get to the point where we no longer want outside communication. Actually, yes, after being incarcerated so long one goes through phases, where one just wants to be alone. You mentioned he just lost his appeal. That no doubt has probably brought on this bout of depression, as that's what it comes down to. He just need some time to get his marbles together. I've been through that phase where I just shut everyone out. Its same with some in the free world, at times, one just wants to disappear, or get caught up in other things. One kindof drifts off without realizing it. I have a friend that I've been writing for the past 14 years. We've also drifted off, but we always come back to each other. I've always gave her space, but she's always come back. One can't mistake appreciation for love because that can cause problems in the future. Being a loyal friend while he's incarcerated says a lot. Even being a pain in the ass may help him snap out of whatever slumber he's, I don't know what type of letters you write him, because if it's just nagging her telling him to do this and that,… it seems to me that you want something more, and at the same time, you don't. So even if you're a little confused how do you think he's going to be. I think you both need to make it clear what you both want and take it from there. A reality of it is that letters are a whole different reality than once you actually are in contact on a daily basis. I realized that while being housed in solitary confinement for eight years communicating through letters. Then when I finally did get out and was able to have visits and physical contact with this person. I saw another side of that person, I wasn't seeing before. So you might have to let him find his way first, let him get out of his system. If you really cares, he will be back. Also, you leaving and coming back can also have something to do with it. Maybe he's poured a lot into your relationship that when he realized it wasn't being reciprocated. So now he doesn't want to be disappointed again. I think the most important thing you can do though, is communicate your feelings. Just as you wrote them here, so you can clear the air. You don't want to leave anything hanging its best to do it now rather than later. This way, your friendship is not lost and there won't be any misunderstandings. So before you let him be or not, air out your concerns to him and he can take it from there. I hope I've answered your question as best I could do this in his essay. I hope everything works out. Sometimes we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. I pushed someone away before and was never the same after that….

A:

An innocent bystander,though I wasn't the trigger man, the law found me guilty. Ive exhausted all my appeal options for the most part. I never give up though cause life continues.

A:

Yes, two years, already having passed since she was incarcerated is a long time. But she's the one who needs to be strong. So she can be there to support her sister. Its not the end of the world there are appeals and habeas corpus relief. But are being distraught is not a help her sister. If that's what she wishes to do you can't change what already happened, plus without sounding cold her sister put herself there. It's a sad situation, but she needs to get over it and move ahead. She needs to stop feeling guilty for what her sister has done, one can’t blame themselves for the ill deeds of one's siblings. One chooses what is one's lifestyle, but it will get easier as time goes by. You Brandi just need to be there to make sure she doesn't go over the edge. I've been incarcerated since 1990, yet I still have my sense humor, I exercise to keep my body and mind fresh and sharp. I know it’d be wrong for me to say you need to give her a few good slaps, tell her to shake it off or something. Sometimes grieving is a good thing, it cleans the soul. She must never lose faith, though. People get reversals on their convictions all the time she needs to start looking for organizations that can help her sister as doing nothing while feeling helpless and sorry for oneself is doing nothing for her sister. Her sister is it least still there for her to see and visit, other people are not so lucky. She can't live her sister's life. She needs to live her own overall, though one can really do anything but give her advice and support in the hopes that she'll get over it soon

A:

I believe everyone deserves another chance, what really matters though is if you believe he deserves another chance. It is easy for one to say he\'s going to change while in prison, but a totally different thing once someone is free. I\'m not saying it can\'t happen or it won’t. Sometimes when you love someone, even though it hurts, you must set them free. So you can use your heart. Him being your child\'s father changes things a whole lot, because that contact will always be there. I\'m sure there\'s plenty of men, who wouldn\'t mind being your baby daddy (smile.) I\'m one of them. Just kidding, half love is strange, sometimes some girls like bad guys. So backing out once things are not going good is kind of messed up, If you knew how he was before you started being with him. Look, I don\'t want to sound like a broken record, but people show love differently and every guy always has that special girl in their life. Guys see girls in two different ways. One, who he can take home to mama and those who are Jewish useful for a night of some freaky Dickie. You can always just be friends with benefits, (smile). I allwas kid, my sister that she needs to marry some rich old man so she doesn\'t need to worry about $. Then still be able to her thing. Of course, I’m just kidding. All in all you need to dig deep and figure out how you want to approach that may be seeing his life flash before his eyes might have found finally woke him up. Whatever you decide though, I wish you good luck and much happiness.

A:

Miss Cindy
asked how one feels about snitches and rats retells on their codefendants. Ya, I completely am against it. I feel they are the lowest form of humanity. Reason being is that one chose that lifestyle, and once things don\'t go your way and situation turns dire, one is willing to throw people who they considered friends at one time under the bus without a second thought. I\'m in that situation, and even though I\'m sure every inmate says it. I didn\'t even do nothing, but I was unwilling to bury my codefendant. So here I am 18 years later, but I\'m not bitter though, because I’d done it again. If I can\'t get out right away, Then I guess I\'m here to stay. I actually just passed up my get out of jail free card. Probably, but it would be wrong to do something like that and bitch and gripe about it being done to me. People would say I\'m living in the past. It is no longer like that, maybe is true, but that\'s how I feel about that. There is nothing wrong with someone changing your lifestyle, but done in a way where someone else is not hurt.

A:

You ask what it\'s like to kill another person. It\'s nothing to brag about, nor gratifying, unless you\'re just a cold-blooded person or some type of serial killer. It takes an emotional toll. Because not only did you destroy another person\'s life, but his families as well. Don\'t listen to the hype on T.V. , in the movies, video games and books. Different people react to it differently after many years. It really makes you think that it\'s really not all that. You aren\'t one of those people, one hears about on the news all the time are you? Who are planning to go out with a bang. Washington has prisons for that! you be good! I\'m glad this site fascinates you, as you fascinate me to. I always had a thing for redheads. Then again, I\'ve had a thing for women in general,( smile )is that bad? Don\'t be shy about writing in with more questions you might not like what you hear from me. But you get the real from me. After so many years your outlook changes a lot of things

A:

it's funny you should ask that question because I went through something similar myself recently, she felt that I wasn't showing enough emotion and caring towards her. That doesn't mean he doesn't care or doesn't love you. It's just people have different ways of showing caring and love. First there should be a trust and understanding between the both of you. Prison does desensitize a person somewhat after so many years having to put up a different face, Not looking soft. It\'s going to take a bit, as he readjusts to society,. As he gets more comfortable he’ll begin to open up more. I know one time after doing four and half years I was afraid just to walk down the street. I have seen some guys get disappointed as well, having invested their hearts to a relationship and not have it worked out. Maybe he\'s afraid to really show commitment, no matter the lack of a motion he may show ,underneath there is feelings. After all, we are all humans, buying you gifts is his way of saying he loves you. Because if he didn\'t care, he wouldn\'t even do that, much less say sorry. At least he\'s trying so he should get an “a” for effort. As to how to deal with him, you need to be patient, let him open up gradually. You don\'t want to force him, as he\'s dealt with correction officers trying to control him, and that\'s the last thing he needs. Sit down with him and have a long talk and let him know how you feel. It could be he doesn\'t realize he\'s doing something that hurts you. You do have to communicate though to get both your feelings out there. Take what he\'s doing as trivial as it may seem to you as a sign he does care.

A:

Where to begin, that is a loaded question, California Department of Corrections and rehabilitation. The latter word was added in 2005 if this emphasizes the changing attitudes in Sacramento . It has come along way since I first came to the system in August 1991. Before all education vocation opportunities were only available to lower security yards. (Level 4 180 designs) were basically warehousing institutions. That was considered the worst and more dangerous prisoners who they couldn't just place at S.H.U. programs. Because regardless of the situation, though one can better themselves by one's own ends by setting aside time in ones day to study certain subjects of interest, instead of watching TV. I think the first thing one must do, is to not go live back in area one left. If one wants to succeed one and find an unfamiliar area, where it will take a while to adjust able to concentrate on things one needs to do. I have a brother who was on parole for three years. When he first got out he did have to get his hommie days out of his system. I would like to think my letters giving him advice also helped. One does need a support network, who doesn\'t allow you to fall into old habits. But there is a program, one can join to help better one self. But when all is said and done, he has to want to succeed. One doesn\'t just turn on and off old habits it does take time. One does need to create opportunities for people incarcerated since those same people will be getting out into society. And you don\'t want them angry at society who they feel rejected them.

A:

I guess you could say it depends on what state you end up in Here in Californians it\'sreally no longer acceptable behavior amongst inmates. Especially in level 4 prisons, Californias prison system is a complicated system of level 1, level 2, and level 3 institutions. The worst the crime the longer the sentance. depending on the crime and term the higher the security you will end up in. I can honestly say that all the time of been in custody, I\'ve never been an institution where that has happened. I\'ve heard of it happening of course depending on what you term as Ray. To me it\'s when you force someone against their will. I have spent time in California youth Authority. When I was younger, it happen there, but people seem to get their perception of how prison is from the movies who glorify the stereotypes or exploit the bad aspects of certain situations. When the reality inside is much different. People fall victim to do their mannerisms, because by nature there will always be predators and prey on the weak. So that can also be considered a form of rape. It doesn\'t always have to entail a sexual thing, but flat-out gang attacks to rape someone does not occur anymore. Those days are from a bygone era. The way institutions are built nowadays, they have almost made it impossible. You are in constant visual observation. that speaking of level 4, of course. The ones and twos are dorms of situations and may be different. They also have a different custody of yards, since it needs protective custody and general population yards. The first two have different standards of conduct. So I couldn\'t speak about that, other than you\'d more likely find these types of people there. Inmates\' conduct in general population is more civilized now. It\'s more unlikely than likely that it would happenon now.